Thanks everyone.
I don't know why I was 2nd-guessing my gut, other than I'm human and WANTED to think that maybe I'm just looking too hard for red flags, but now I know better.
As far as my niece, that's another story. Her main concern is she doesn't want my stepmom around Cheryl, the so-called friend who gave stepmom the extra pills, the fraudulent prescription (even though she told her it may be bad and stepmom tried to fill it anyway) because she gave stepmom's purse to another friend who stole it. Brit gets money from SS on a card, every month, since her mom died, and she hasn't gotten a new card yet. Now she's ticked because she can't buy her cigarettes and get her nails done. Yes, she's 15 and has been smoking for 2 years....stepmom lets her do what she wants. It's easier than saying "no".
That's why I say "another story"...no discipline or consequences, except what dad or I can enforce that stepmom can't undo when we're not around. Fortunately, she does listen to me, and she does care about what I think. She's also better than dad/stepmom at following my examples, so maybe there's hope for her. She does have a huge anger issue, but doesn't feel she needs counseling and no one will force the issue, so I just break up the occasional fights between her and my dad....sigh.
As far as dad and stepmom, I'm not sure they even love each other anymore. They say the words, but both admit they are miserable. He won't kick her out because of her failing health, she has no where to go and no one to "take care of her". She won't go for same reasons.
I will check into al-anon, but right now I'm working my real job 5 days a week and for dad the other 2 days.
I really appreciate you all. Once I posted, it was like a huge weight off my shoulders, and I was able to sleep.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy