amy,
i'm not sure if you attend 12 step meetings but aa and na are toTAlly different than alanon or naranon (i've never been to naranon though) if it weren't for alanon i'd have lost my mind a lont time ago - your stepmom is going to do what she is going to do no matter how much wisdom you impart on her (it sucks to see it going on and knowing all the crap that active addiction will cause) but you can only speak your truth and hope she hears something - take care of yourself and don't let yourself be sucked into the drama - remember you have no control over anyone but yourself and your reaction to the situation - the serenity prayer helped me alot...
godspeed,
sue