figure

I did it again. He called needing money two days before Christmas. He begged and manipulated and made me feel guilty and so on. I wired him money to put a down payment on his own apartment. We are not together but I still love him and want to be with him. I live 5 hours away and still in school. He just graduated, found a job and now living on his own. If I didnt help him, he would still be living with his parents. A big part of me wants to see if he can make it own his own. He chooses to still smoke pot as often as he can. He states he used to do it to get away from his problems but now he does it bc he likes it? We had a good talk on the phone for 2o minutes that night and he wants me to come see him soon. 5 days later after not hearing from him I text messaged him asking how he was doing? I got no response. I text him New Years Ever and New Years Day. He finally text me back and said he would call me later and never did. Yesterday, I kept calling and texting him and he finally answered upset telling me that we aren't together and that I need to quit acting like we are in a relationship. He says he wants to see me and wants me to come down later. I asked when and he said he would call me. He rushed off the phone saying he was busy and was getting everything in his new apartment, thanks to me. Why do I do this to myself? Why do I keep longing for someone that obviously is just using me? Why can't I stop? When will I hit my rock bottom with him? I am broke. Did I enable him? A part of me thinks he will be needing and wanting money again? Do you think so? Will I be strong enough to say No? Why can't I let go. This has been going on for almost 5 years now. I hate myself for it sometimes and then other times I am happy for helping him. I am so confused. I can't function. I feel my heart aching and stay in my room all day. I don't feel like doing anything anymore.