I knew one year ago that I had to stop drinking, but continued to relapse and start over, relapse and start over, for over half a year before I finally 'got it right'. I too have clinical depression, been on antidepressants for over ten years, but while I was drinking I was always depressed.
You CAN stop drinking for good, but you must want to be sober more than you want to drink. For me, that was the key. It also helps so much to just stay sober JUST FOR TODAY. Tomorrow is too far away and yesterday is gone. Take it one day, one hour, one minute at a time if you have to. And give AA a good try, again or for the first time. They helped me a lot in the beginning.
You CAN recover. Get all the help you can cause it's a hard thing to do, but it can be done and it does get better.:ghug3