daniel7

I have recently separated (again...) from my alcoholic girlfriend - moved back to my hometown. She was not the only reason for this, work was finishing up and I missed my family, my mates and so on. What I want to know is this...

In retrospect, many of the things she said to me over the past few months have now made me think that she 100% wants to stop, but now cannot - as opposed to still *wanting* to drink. I say this after listening to the AA Big Book the other night and Bill W. talks about reaching the point where he DOES want to stop, but cannot - of course without the help of a higher power.

Prior to this last incident, she had been attending AA and was very proactive in starting her recovery. So it makes me wonder. Is she just feeding me more excuses or what? The last month or so she slipped about once a week, but a lot of this talk did not come immediately after the event - much later when we were just talking together.

Her mother is on the scene again, who is also an alcoholic. These two together are like the devil incarnate squared. I truly believe her mother does not help her situation at all. My girlfriend is also a double winner, very co-dependant - especially with her mother. And so, she does not want to *abandon* her.

Of course this could be an excuse (and sounds like one...) I know this isn't *really* mine to solve, but hers. It's just that if I can still be there as at least ONE person who is there to listen and offer encouragement, then I'd like to be. Then again, she could be full of sh*t and that really scares me. She had said a lot of things that nobody has prompted her to believe in the past and if it's all just another lie, then she's headed further away and not closer to recovery - from one extreme to another. Well, she IS still drinking as far as I know. So maybe I have my answer...

Any views on this? Obviously there is not definite answer, but some thoughts would help.

And I guess the proof IS in the pudding...