how would you feel if the actions of the alcoholic, combined with my own stupidity with allowing him to be my work partner, caused you to be arrested and facing criminal prosecution?
i loved him and trusted him in the depths of my own addiction to him. that is the lesson i must learn from this. i hate myself about as much as i hate him right now.
i feel embarssed, publicly humiliated, and scared chitless about facing this. i could, and possibly will, have to spend time in jail because of all this.
you all know how the law works.....they will offer a plea bargain that will benefit me to take a plea rather than go to jury trial and risk spending a huge amount of time if found guilty.
i don't know what he did, or how he did it. i only know that i have done nothing wrong.
i worked hard and relentlessly. the last 2 years, after i let him back into my life, is when i let him take over in the office much more. partly because he insisted and it was easier to let him then to fight him about it, and partly because i have struggled so badly with my health.
none of that really matters because ultimately i was the manager and was responsible.
i'm just so scarred about learning about all of it. i don't want to know. i've never felt so betrayed in all my life.
if i'm whining, let me know. right now, nothing could offend me. i'm at the lowest i've ever been.