Yikes, Bam, I am sorry you're feeling so down.
Be proud of yourself for accomplishing the sobriety that you have. You're doing great!
I wonder what steps you've taken to change your life. I know the job market is tough these days, but maybe you could consider going back to school or taking some courses, to help you move into a different line of work. There is always hope.
Something else that I have found, is that if you expect bad things to happen, then that's what will happen. If you expect good things to come to you, they will.