My thoughts on this are similar to FD's. In fact, I was just having a conversation with a dear friend the other night and I wondered out loud if I would have embarked on this journey of self-discovery if things hadn't gotten as bad as they did. I think many people live dull, unimaginative, numb lives simply because it's not "that bad." Human nature is to take the path of least resistance, and I feel profoundly grateful that my status quo became so unbearable that I couldn't continue down that path.
My new path is so much more fulfilling and satisfying. I feel more alive than I have in all my 46 years of being. I didn't get to this place quickly, however. I spent many months raging into my journal, questioning why, resisting reality. It's been over three years since I kicked my husband out of the house and stepped away from the insanity. The peace I feel now is something I never could have imagined back then. Give yourself time, feel whatever it is you feel, just keep putting one foot in front of the other and one day you will look back and realize that you had to go through it in order to get to the other side.
(((Jeri)))
L