I'm so sorry you are going through this - I have faced that kind of fear and pain too, and understand how difficult it is. I don't mean to sound hardened, but I realized I could not control what happens and if the worst did happen, yes the authorities would know how to get in touch with me.
It took a lot of pain for me to hit my bottom too and find Alanon and Naranon. Once i got through what seemed like such a hard thing - to walk into that first meeting - I found lots of loving and supportive people who understood. The first couple of groups I tried weren't the right fit, but I still got something out of it and when i found the group that worked for me, I knew it immediately. I haven't turned back since and it makes the world of difference.
Keep posting and let us know how you are doing. In the meantime, you and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers.