Originally Posted by
waterface 
In a Tailspin
yes, i know i am in control & many posts here & your 2 have made me seriously look at the affects its having on my life, how its messed with my anxiety, relationships, decision making, physical health, & that lots of negative things are just repeating themselves all over again & again.
I haven't drunk much over the last fiew days, i can seriously say that i'm actually becoming a bit bored of the same old thing. No realy enjoying it etc.
When you compare alcoholism to those other diseases that we don't have much power over, it puts in perspective the insanity of it all, like i'm chosing to be ill.
When you say i'm in the driving seat it makes me feel powerful & for once i'm realy having a feeling of moving in the right direction. I need to read these posts often! They realy are helping.
It sounds simple Waterface.......mind over the bottle, right? I know it reality there is a lot more to it than that. But I do hope that you allow yourself to by motivated by you HP and things you read here to make the decisions that are best for you.
You've not mentioned anything about the people around you and how this affects them......but let me tell you this - - by abf was 30 days off of pills on Christmas day. It is huge for us, although there is still much damage done previously to work through. I am so proud of him..........and the big difference is that it wasn't me telling him he needed to get a grip - - HE HAD TO DECIDE FOR HIMSELF.........AND HE DID. As, hopefully, you will soon. And your friends and family will be so happy for you and proud for you.......
Best of luck to you - - Your sobriety is as far away as you make it or as close as you let it be.