Jeff_C

I’ll tell ya a secret. Well, it’s not really a secret, You’re human and so is he, and the dis-ease that we all suffer from is an adversary that frankly will confound us all upon occasion, but as long as we get up one more time than we’re knocked down, as long as we refuse to go quietly, we still have a chance. Recovery does not just magically appear upon our doorstep, because we’ve “put the plug in da jug� for a while, although that will be one of the precursors for a meaningful recovery. Abstinence is one thing. Sobriety a completely different animal, and only attained as a developing form of recovery efforts.

But the secret, the one that’s not really a secret. “A bellyful of booze, and a headful of AA is a nasty combination�. And while I’m not really sure that he was attending AA or not, that principle holds true with any other ‘recovery� effort. If we have gotten to that point where we have engaged in NOT “using� for any period of time, no matter what the reasoning behind it, whether that was to satisfy a recalcitrant wife, the courts, an employer, parents friends etc, we have in some way acknowledged our ‘liability�. Even if we’ve said to ourselves, �Alright, I’m not gonna drink---------for them.� we have in some way acknowledged the sanity of THEIR mindset, and further committed to DO something about it. We MAY be yet a step closer to doing it for and by the very same self that will persist for a while in that alcoholic mindset whether or not we’re actually ingesting the stuff or not.

Still, can you imagine what he is feeling at this moment? I promise you it is NOT the release that you imagine it to be, There is confusion, and doubt, there is the understanding that says,�Oh Sh--, I’ve done it again, and I don’t exactly know how or why? There is that part of him that knows exactly how you feel, and yet is powerless to do anything, but precisely what he has done. Although relapse does not necessarily have to be part of the program, the vast majority by far, have had to find their frailty, their powerlessness if you will by going back “out there� and beating themselves, AND their families up some more. “A belly ful of booze and a headful of AA IS a nasty combination�, but sometimes, maybe maybe, maybe, it’ll get the job done and be the very thing that convinces us that “we never have to feel this way again“,--------------unless we choose to. The question always is what have we learned from the relapse. And the other question that always occurs to us is “I know I have another drunk left in me, but is there “another� recovery?�
Jeff