Sick i am, just met someone i like & we like nights out together, big part of xmas we were gonna have, i doubt there's a future in 'us' now because i'm reducing/stopping, whatever you want to call it. I doubt she would want to drink alone & thats part of her big social life. Maybe i should talk about it to her as after our night out the other night, our excess made her say she needed to get healthy & actually recall the next day. I'm gonna be getting her fit as i run a lot & we're due to walk in the hills on 26th.
Drink has ruined relationships because i drank & the other person didn't much, now it looks like the opposite will happen. Thats sods law.
Bad time i think to quit/reduce, 23rd Dec, all my plans for days with friends will stop now, how can i go in a bar I will spend it all alone in bed. I guess i'm upset & crying out in self pity. Wondering whether to drink over the xmas time & then start to reduce/quit.
Jeez, all i read last night in the above posts that i'm scared & i am, & here i am alone & thinking about drinking although i need to be strong! Half of me says that i tryed so many times, so why will this time be any different! I'm not sure if there will be a time when that quit sign tells me it for good. I just feel weak.
I didn't drink yesterday, i woke many times wet through, like as soon as i opened my eyes, i could feel my body immersed in sweat, shivering. My body itching, mind zaps, twitches.
I go running, but am scared to as after i crave a drink to relax. I often thought i was sweating it out of me, but realise now that i ran everyday to try & get rid of that toxic, hot feeling, which actually works as far as feelings go, but not for my insides.
I am very confused at the moment. i read Tazman's post in 'what to expect', he drank 40 years, i'm only 34, so got time!, but i have fat in my liver.
I guess i'm wanting someone to say have a good time with your partner & do it in January. I not know what to do today & then tomorrow, one at a time i guess. Evenif i have 2 days off & relapse, its a start! or a fail.