Does your grandson go to alateen or have any other support? He may need some help recognizing the manipulation and effects that addicts have on us. He is at a fragile age and through his parents example seems to have a lack of respect - he might need a reality check to see that. A child can idolize their parents - they want to think their parents are good and right and when they start to see they arent it can be very difficult to deal with. Some will be hurt and withdrawn and others may follow the road that the parents took. What I've noticed is that it seems like people either make the same mistakes as their parents or they become the polar opposite. You can see two kids of alcoholics - one never touches alcohol becuase they hate how it affected their life and the other is an alcoholic because that's what they learned. He needs someone to help him see that the pain he is feeling is becuase of the addicts behavior and not yours. He's 14 and I know that age well - its hard and you need to do something now before he becomes just like them.