Thank you all for your comments.
Chino you hit the nail on the head - you know me so well already. I try not to worry or forecast but when you've been hurt so much its hard to let that go. I have learned a lot and made a lot of changes in myself - I guess I'm not confident yet that I wont slip back to old ways - it would have been easier if he and i werent going to be here alone together so much. I'm going to ponder what you said - maybe i still have some baggage to let go of myself so i can live free of addiction whether or not he is around. Thank you all.
PO said he'll have the gps monitor tomorrow - once that is on then i'll probably feel a little more secure. He has been plesant today - even got up and cleaned up the house and said he would like to cook dinner - he's trying to keep himself busy so that's a positive start. But he is 16 and already bored - boredom is a dangerous think for a teenager.
My goal today is to just smile one really big hearty smile. Going christmas shopping with my sweet daughter later so that's a great time for laughter.