Thank you to everyone who has posted. I am a recovering alcoholic myself and trying to repair the emotional damage is really tough. It catches me without me realising at the time, or I feel powerless to my emotions. I realise that the time I have spent drinking has taken up the time for me to grow emotionally. So I still suddenly feel like a child when i feel confused. I'm not used to boyfriends or friends! I isolated for 7 years. My family have been of no support whatsoever and gave up on me before i started drinking. I find it tough that my boyfriend has a daughter and an ex wife he is best friends with. To be honest, i do feel jealous and compare myself to her. I really appreciate the response i have got and it has restored some faith in humankind. Rita xx