IM rooting for your TC. you give me so much strength and inspiration.
i know it can seem overwhelming, but maybe you can think of just a few healthy patterns that you regularly do, and stick with them.
i really found what you said about the codependency thing ruined too. ME TOO. same with being with an Alcoholic. reading this board alone makes me realize it is destructive no matter how much i love the other person or how good in site the relationship was in my head.
and there are a lot of nice other things that might bring you joy, aside from you codependent patterns. thnk about some of them that you like to do that might be less overwhelming if you enjoy them. like reading or cooking. start small. just do one or two a day.