hi stubborn,
great thread. one thing that stuck out for me was that you said you were complaining, and that you had a pattern- that nothing changed and you complained (is what i think i got from that i could be wrong). what are some things you can or are going to do differently????
i look back and although im sure its there, i only see the bad things or the chaos or negativity i brought to my XABF and not vice versa. i made a list of positive things im going to do for my next boyfriend (so i dont feel guilty) even though im working on me and me alone. but atleast im conscious.
i make a list of new and positive behaviors or habbits. and old, negative habbits that havent helped me at all. i cant say i dont do them, or have made tremendous project but it starts with acceptance and consciousness, right? now when im strong, i hope to look at the list and say, what positive healthy habbits or patterns can i do today, just a few of.