Hush Child
TC, I have been watching you grow in leaps and bounds in the last few months until I'm like "Damn! Givelove could have written that!!1 and that's about the best compliment I can give.
My first "stretch" in "recovery" was in Sobriety, and the truth of it is in some ways it's incredibly lonely and hard at times, when and where we grow and go, no one can go with us...it's hard to explain, but that's the "feeling" I got from your post, it's hard nearly regretting all those "old friends" are gone forever, those old behaviors and thought patterns, just try to remember what it was like before.
One of the most profound "moments" in a book I personally found very profound (although very fun) was "The Mists of Avalon" when Morgaine realized she hadn't seen the "Faery Queen" for many years, and one day she was looking in the pond, she realized that it was because she had "become" The Faery Queen, and what that meant to me was she was now on her "own path" and she had no one to look up to or really ask for advice any more, like "Basho" says, "Seek not to follow in the footsteps of the wise, seek instead what they sought" at some point you realize there are no other footprints in the sand with you because the path you are walking is now truly your own.
It can be truly lonely at times, but oh so very rewarding, ....So you are no longer TC to me, but our own FQ.
