Hello Kitty ..... that is so true.
I grew up with sayings like..... "there are talkers and doers..... what are you?"
Just Do It! It's no good just talking about it..... JUST BLINKING DO IT! We waste so much energy talking and thinking and analyzing..... just do it! The trick is.... what is it that we are going to do. The first step is the one to follow! We are powerless over <blank>. Start there!!!
I have given up on telling my guy what he should and shouldn't do! AND when I falter and do express what he is doing..... I literally get a physical sensation up my back - like a shudder or a stress in my neck.... that is screaming..... STOP!
By "helping".... not only are we hurting....... but we also are taking away any ownership they have in THEIR recovery! Addicts and codies last because it's a unhealthy puzzle ... all the pieces fit together. But when one moves into recovery - being it the addict or the codie..... the dynamics change - regardless. Of course the dream would be for BOTH to do it together, but that is not always the case or at least it doesn't always last for eternity - so ONE person has to make the first move! Then see what happens.........
EVERYONE's recovery is different! There is no true handbook in recovery. That is what is so exciting about recovery. However, with codie and addicts... there is an un-written handbook that we can all relate to! Well actually - the 12 steps is really the handbook to recovery..... but it's scary and it means we are looking at ourselves - instead of escaping from ourselves - it being drugs or other people's problems! But I do feel that some are slower than others in recovery - but then again .... addiction/codieness progresses slower than others as well. It is a dance....... the question is.... at what point are you going to take the lead on the dance floor for the well being of YOU?!