Oh bluebelle, are you in my living room, living with my abf??? Because I go through this daily.
Nope is the answer to the question. I know, as you do, the answer, perhaps we are just trying to hear something different.
I know the sleeping, I know the awake "high" times, where the guy we used to know appears.
It's nice when they appear, mine when he is high calls me "baby" is going to "finish the basement" is going to "pick up a good movie and hang with me on the couch" is going to "make plans for a vaca for us"
It's a delusion of what we used to know before drugs.....
It plays with our minds.
I shake my head saying oh my word..... when I read your post. Why why why why why do we have to suffer like this? Why can't we just "get it" and move on. They aren't going to change, and one thing I really believe now, is that if they DO get sober, they won't be the same anymore.
It's like someone that decides they need to "find themselves"....... (without drugs) with some soul searching, they realzie what they want/who they are/and USUALLY it dosen't include their current life situation.
Either way, it's just not going to work. Useing will only cause us more heartache and devistation...... if divine intervention works and they get clean, what are the chances that they would be the same person we once knew and everything goes back to normal?? Slim to none.
Either way we lost someone we love. Perhaps it is better, to cut our losses......... than to drag it out - hopeing and praying for something that just isn't going to happen.
We have been fooled by our media, with romantic happy endings. Songs on the radio. Yep I listen to them all..........
There isn't a happy ending (in my opinion)..... unless we just get happy with ourselves and move forward.
I'm sorry to be a downer, I just don't think we are doing ourselves any justice prolonging the agony.
Instead, I want to grieve.....(again) and get support through that. I need support for the emotions that I have to face.....
the feelings that I "gave up" that I "walked away" that "somone else may help him" that "someone else he'd quit for" that "I wasn't good enough" that "I was wrong" that "maybe my situation was different".
It's not and that is where I am going to look for support...........
Does that ring true for you??
Love,
Cessy