Originally Posted by
justaboutus 
I need to tell AH that I'm done
Do you need to tell him right now? Could you wait until you feel less afraid about contributing to his problems? For your own sake?
If you want to tell him, "This is it. Totally done. We're through. Papers are on their way." Then ok. But, at this point you sound as though you will be inclined to hold yourself responsible for the fall-out. Can you work through some of that responsibility before you give him the news?
Life happens. To alcoholics, too. Marriages end, jobs are lost, homes are flooded in hurricanes.
My husband's reaction to those events isn't my fault or really any of my business.
I'm sorry that he's dealing with depression - good for him for looking up resources for help!
Take care, justaboutus. I'm thinking of you.
-TC