Originally Posted by
anvilhead 
back when he was drinking, what was your most fervent hope? that he would quit? and that you would do anything in your power to help him if you could?
But that is a question I have... She really was upset about my problem drinking. But...The way my recovery has affected her life now... "It's all about you and your recovery", It's (recovery) always the elephant in the room (at least for now, it's bigger than the drinking/pill popping elephant - mostly because I hid it so much).
She misses the drinking together, candles, music, fire... the romantic stuff. Before the downward spiral... She still only had one or maybe two, I had always lost count.
I think she forgets, at those times, how much I needed to quit. How much I have to lose if I relapse... That maybe she doesn't have to do "everything in her power..." That I'll just learn to "suck it up". I am in a monitoring program and the "stick" is losing my job - and that possibility keeps me from picking up. She has no idea how hard it can be.... I need some "carrots".
Mark