I f I had kept a journal in the 6 years I have been in this situation- It would probably depress me aswell- I hate to talk to even my closest friends about my issues with AH because- to be honest- I'm even tired of hearing about it and it's my life!!
I know people that know my situation say "Why doesn't she just get out" and probably other things I don't want to know about. I too found it hard (impossible) nearly to be happy even during sober,good times, because I was used to things being a certain way I guess- I was the martyr, he was the villain- I hate to admit that but for a long time- that was what I was and wanted to be in some sick way. I wish I had kept a journal- mabye I could have learnedfrom it now.