Rozied,
Sometimes I also see myself in situations that are of my OWN making. It helps me to analyze what I would do differently NOT to get caught up in the drama for the next time. (And I seem to be doing better.)
Maybe you're just having a hard time saying NO, and you seem to be carrying alot of guilt for your SON because HIS father wasn't around to give him healthy support as a child.
I think you need to drop the guilt, this is nothing of YOUR doing, and nothing you can change.
Just back off Rozied and let them handle ALL of it.
Hugs sweetie...