Welcome Space Gypsy
take a look around...lots to read and ponder and lots of support here.
I used to think I needed a vice - everything was better drunk or stoned - I was the arty type - not bound by societys rules, sucking the marrow from life...
blah blah blah...LOL
now I see it as just more rationalisation.
All I was doing was killing myself slowly and monumentally misusing and wasting my talents.
No-one is meant to be an addict, pure and simple
D