Originally Posted by
Osakis 
Everything I've read says I shouldn't be helping him, as it's just enabling him to keep from helping himself. But I don't know if that means I shouldn't be available for him to talk to when he's feeling sad or scared or vulnerable?
In my experience as a non-alcoholic - I have nothing valuable to contribute to conversations about another person's alcoholism.
I do not get it.
I don't understand, and I tend to lapse into this advising, lecturing mode that usually results in frustration and anger for both parties.
When I figured out that
1.) My listening wasn't helpful to the A
2.) My listening wasn't helpful to me
it really didn't make sense for me to listen anymore.
Today, if my A wants to talk about his problem, I say that I can't do it.
He knows who can. Your brother's been to rehab. He knows, too.
There are rooms FULL of people who would love to talk to him about alcoholism, help him, even take him out for coffee after the meeting.
I am not anyone's only hope.
Embracing that belief frees me from crushing worry and allows me to step out of the way and let other people take responsibility for their own choices.