i am day nine sober. feel great about it.
the night we were both arrested, when it came time for his attorney to speak to me the next day, my BF wanted to drop the charges.
i was too afraid to do so because this is all so new to me. so i said no. now we both have orders of protection against each other. i am so glad to have this time to heal, think, reflect.
i realize now that i will just have to drop the charges or else be caught up in the legal system for weeks or months.
i do not want to fight him over this. maybe i did hit him in the head with something, but i know for sure that he bloodied my nose somehow and yanked out some of my hair. this was the fourth time he has been physical with me......and his temper tantrums and verbal abuse have been increasing since around the time that we signed a lease together. his drinking was spiraling out of control even though about two months ago I dried out for ten days and he never stepped back for a moment to notice i was any different.
i had admitted to him that i was having blackouts so he can use this knowledge against me in court and leave me in a big fat mess. he can accuse me of ANYTHING.
luckily, i have a DV incident report on him already, in which i did not have him arrested, but at least i have it. i just don't have any witnesses. except maybe the neighbors upstairs hearing me screaming 'leave me alone, leave me alone, leave me alone' at the top of my lungs.
i am planning to leave the relationship. it will take a lot of planning and breaking of our lease, a lot of details that i have to be very secretive about.
i love him, but he has changed so much in such a short time that i think it must have been there all along and i just overlooked it. i only wanted to see good.