I know from my past experiences...I can NOT just have a few after going for a while without drinking. If I manage to have a 4 on sat. night, by wed. night I will have 10 then friday night I will be loaded...doing what I do so well when I get that drunk...making an ass out of myself, insulting friends, flirting with men(and Im married, but that doesnt seem to matter when I get that drunk) and eventually blacking out. Waking up the next day feeling shame and guilt, not remembering what I did. Wondering why im getting phone calls to my cell from a number I dont know...thinking oh god...no I didnt?! It happens like this EVERY time I quit. I think I can control it but in the end I cant. Maybe some can, but I am seeing now that alcohol controls me, when I drink it. So its best for me to get it through my head that I cant every drink it again, if I want to keep my family and my life.
U have experienced places without drinking now..I find I can have just as much fun not drinking as I did drinking. Keep that up! At least u can be the one going..damn..did u see so and so? Instead of being the one everyone is talking about! lol
Keep up the good work with ur sobriety!