ive been in your shoes somewhat, my xah left me when i was two months pregnant, and of course everything is my fault, you cant take what he blames you for personally, ive learned that the hard way, my xah probably blames me when it rains, i mean really, the guy thinks i cause every bad thing in the world to happen to him, he refuses to take blame for his own actions and im tired of hearing im to blame, i joke to my best friend all the time that i go outside and do magic dances to send storms up her way since everything in the world is my fault lol
its tough to go through your pregnancy alone it was a very hard time for me but i made it through it with absolutely no help from my xah, the times he did call all it did was stress me out, he never helped with money and never bought one single baby item, he chose his other women and alcohol over his wife and son and still continues to choose them
ive now had my baby and hes 3 weeks old and despite all the problems and stress, we are doing ok and getting better day by day, my xah saw the baby twice and it didnt change anything so dont think after the baby that the father will suddenly change and want to be a father, its been over a week and no call from my xah even asking how the baby is, hes got a new girlfriend and is wrapped up in that, why, because she enables him, buys him alcohol and whatever else he wants and i wont do that for him, my xah is a very cruel and delusional person now, thats the progression of his alcoholism and ive finally learned nothing i do or say will change him and me and my son are better off without him
i am the only one who takes care of my son and its hard sometimes, my mom will help some but she works alot so im left doing it, its very hard and i want to go find my xah sometimes and just beat the hell out of him and ask him how he can have a son and not care about him, but it would do no good, but im still the luckiest woman alive because i have my son and i love him so much, and my xah really has nothing , if he loses this girl then he is SOL cause his mama dont want him living with her and i sure aint taking him back, hes dug his own grave and doesnt even realize it yet
hang in there it will get easier:ghug3