Hi LizzieBee,
Welcome to the forum - I'm so sorry you're going through this pain.
The beauty of being here is that we can see so many examples of people who have started out in situations that were just horrible, and we've watched them slowly work through problems, tiny step by tiny step, to become happy again. I know you can too.
Being in love with alcoholics is never an easy thing - there is often a lot of chaos and madness and it's hard to not become hopelessly confused sometimes.
Blaming you for his relapse is a classic maneuver that all alcoholics do. You rejected them, they lost a job, it's raining outside, their team lost, it's Tuesday.........endless excuses and ways to make it seem like YOU did it.
Although it does not seem like it, binding yourself to an active alcoholic through marriage was likely a very smart thing to avoid - kudos to you for not strapping yourself to him as he descends into this progressive disease. The first thing we often try to remember is that we didn't CAUSE their alcoholism, we can't CONTROL it, and we can't CURE it. We can only focus on ourselves, and control our own lives and futures......but that sometimes means pushing through some pain to a new way of thinking. That's where this forum can be of great help.
As much as it hurts, small steps in the right direction every day (even if it's just one little step) will help you regain control of your own happiness. You cannot change his mind about you by remaining depressed and lost, though that at one time was my first instinct ("he'll see how much pain I'm in and then he'll save me") It sounds as though he is choosing to abandon the three of you and take the easy way out. While that's a shame, it does not have to be the end of the world. It should give you something to think about, though: do you really want to be with someone who would do such a thing? Is that what a good man does?
Are you dependent on him financially? Do you live together? Do you have a plan for supporting the baby? Do you have family nearby who are willing to support you? There are several new mothers or almost-new-mothers here who share your experience almost exactly. Hopefully they will stop in and offer you some specific support and advice.
I'd suggest too reading through the "Sticky" posts at the top of the forum. That's a collection of a lot of wisdom regarding alcoholism and its affect on our lives. That could be your "one small step" today - just educating yourself some more.
Mostly, I'm glad you found us. There is a LOT of help here. Please keep posting.
Hugs,
GL
