Many many years ago I married someone who I did not know was a late-stage alcoholic.
He swept me off my feet. I was a single mom, with a 5 year old son, and I wanted a stable family life, a husband, roots and security. I thought with him I would finally have that.
Then I married him (after a brief courtship) and the addiction was unveiled.
By that time I had moved my son and me our of our rented house, given away every bit of furniture we had, enrolled my son in a new kindergarten at the H's university where H taught. And progressively over the next two years endured the verbal abuse , the bullying, the crises and despair of life with a severe alcoholic. Then he hit me and I moved my son and me out of there within 2 weeks.
We had to start over from scratch and it wasn't easy but we had enough: I found another modest house to rent, enough pieces of old furniture, enrolled him in a new school, and lived on a shoestring until things stabilized.
My hope and prayer for you is that you will find some way to escape the trapped feeling you are experiencing, with some clear thinking, good advice from practical people, and an absolute commitment not to let your husband's refusal to change deter you from changing your life.
Today I hope you find some way to find a small shaft of light in the fog. Maybe buy yourself a beautiful notebook and in it start designing the life you want and listing the changes that will bring you closer.
Many good wishes to you, many hopes. The destruction always precedes the rebirth.