I' so to vent like that there are so many other people with more difficult problems. I just feel like my whole life is crumbling around me. I truly believe its depression I cry every day, tired , putting things off. I just dont seem to be that strong person anymore. As for the marriage I really don't care anymore. I will not go back to the drinking days and being a babysitter ( oh he doesnt have a problem everyone drinks) his excuse he is under pressure, I have been horrible lately yelling, flying off the handle, panic attacks. Sometimes I truly wonder if things happen in life for a reason?