Originally Posted by
jennygirl73 
Just reading your words scares me to death! I don't know if I could tell him, I don't know him well enough anymore to even begin to imagine how he would react. Trying to imagine what he would say brings tears to my eyes. Knowing that I am afraid to say something is making me bawl. Currently we avoid one another, unless our daughter is present, or it's absolutely necessary. But you are right, it definitely gives me alot to think about.
I just don't believe that he thinks there is anything wrong. He is apparently okay with the distance in our relationship. He is okay with the silence. He is okay with sleeping on the couch, he is okay with going a whole day and not seeing his beautiful daughter. He HAS to be or else he would be here trying to make this better!
I am trying not to have an excuse for why everything is too hard, or why I can't accomplish something. I know that I can accomplish anything that I put my mind to, but getting over that fear is what cripples me. I have never been scared of everything all the time before, I just don't understand why this is so different. I am at the beginning of my journey here. I don't know yet where I want it to lead me. I don't have all the answers yet. I can honestly say that I am not even sure that I want him even if he sobered up this very moment and I had a guarantee that it would be permanent. I just feel lost in my own skin.
I sympathise for your position, partly because I have been, in the past, your husband. I wasn't willing to listen to my partner and thought my drinking was acceptable, just a slong as I didn't do it all the time. I set the rules, she didn't. I hate to say this, but I think you have a difficult task ahead. If your husband is anywhere near as stubborn as I it will take something special for him to double take and sit back and realise who he is hurting. However, if he is, at his core, a kind hearted man then hopefully this will happen.
Please don't be agressive and don't dictate terms to him unless you feel its absolutely necessary. You need to somehow give him the message that you are considering leaving him without setting an ultimatum. I understand why you don't want a broken home, but your child will be better off in a single mum family than in an alcoholic family at the end of the day so you need to find a less obvious way of basically getting him to choose between the bottle3 and you guys. I'm sorry if I seem a bit a harsh, but I really hate to see you just carry on as things are.