Aaahh jenny,
I wish I could give you a big hug right now. I can feel your pain and confusion. But you are taking the first steps by coming here and talking about it. For that, be proud! Do you have to tell him? Can you just say you are going out and then if he asks whee, tell him? I know it all is easier said than done. BUT I think you will feel 100% better once you steps in an Alanon meeting and feel face to face that you are not alone. There is strength in numbers. You are worth it!!