Originally Posted by
TTOSBT 
jenny,
I respect your choices but that (telling him you are going to an Alanon meeting) would be a sure fire way for him to know that even if HE doesn't think his drinking is a problem, you do and that you are going to do what you need to do for YOU.
It might spark a discussion but after the uncomfortableness, wouldn't that be for the best? I know that it would have made me think if my husband had sought out recovery for himself before I hit bottom. Something to think about....
Just reading your words scares me to death! I don't know if I could tell him, I don't know him well enough anymore to even begin to imagine how he would react. Trying to imagine what he would say brings tears to my eyes. Knowing that I am afraid to say something is making me bawl. Currently we avoid one another, unless our daughter is present, or it's absolutely necessary. But you are right, it definitely gives me alot to think about.
I just don't believe that he thinks there is anything wrong. He is apparently okay with the distance in our relationship. He is okay with the silence. He is okay with sleeping on the couch, he is okay with going a whole day and not seeing his beautiful daughter. He HAS to be or else he would be here trying to make this better!
I am trying not to have an excuse for why everything is too hard, or why I can't accomplish something. I know that I can accomplish anything that I put my mind to, but getting over that fear is what cripples me. I have never been scared of everything all the time before, I just don't understand why this is so different. I am at the beginning of my journey here. I don't know yet where I want it to lead me. I don't have all the answers yet. I can honestly say that I am not even sure that I want him even if he sobered up this very moment and I had a guarantee that it would be permanent. I just feel lost in my own skin.