jenny,
I respect your choices but that (telling him you are going to an Alanon meeting) would be a sure fire way for him to know that even if HE doesn't think his drinking is a problem, you do and that you are going to do what you need to do for YOU.
It might spark a discussion but after the uncomfortableness, wouldn't that be for the best? I know that it would have made me think if my husband had sought out recovery for himself before I hit bottom. Something to think about....