I think it has everything to do with control. My XABF wanted to be the one to end it. He had to be the one to say this is where it ends. I think this because of the way he acted towards me and one specific thing he said after he as gone. He said "You are just pissed because I was the one that decided to end it and you didn't" OK....Even though he sounded like a drunken 12 year old when he said it I guess he could be right in a way.
I was mad that I never MADE him leave. When I told him I wanted him to go he threatened to break everything I owned and to "twist my cat's head off" Real nice guy huh? So yeah maybe I was pissed that he got to make the decision to skate off into a new life while I was left with all the bills and trying to figure it all out.
Yuck, I think back on all the mean things he said to me and realize he is treating someone else (and her daughter) the same way or worse.
And yes I was also the problem. I'm sure we are all pretty familiar with how it feels to wonder how you are not good enough for a lazy. drunken, lying, cheating, abusive LOSER! I felt like the biggest sack of crap. No way in my life would I EVER let ANYONE talk to me like the way I let him. And to be convinced that it was MY fault...crazy!