Thank you Ex D-Boy
sorry if i went off topic too but its a sore subject for me and one that has caused me a lot of pain over the last year. Its actually one of the things that my own parents in the beginning thought and that my AS likes to throw in my face all the time - all of his weaknesses are inevitably my fault. everything comes back to me.
Rozied to pull this back on topic - inevitably this is his life - his problems - his consequences. It hurts us because we love them and want them to have a great life but if doesnt choose a great life then there is nothing we can do. If he wants to play the victim all his life then just like my AS, he will be living like this all of his life.