prairiegirl

It's been more than 5 months since my XAH and I separated and still I find myself wishing he would contact me and ask to come back. I know I was miserable the way I was living with his drinking behaviour, but I keep longing for the man he used to be. In my fantasy, he calls me up, tells me he's finally given up drinking and realized that he lost the best thing he ever had and wants to come back. Even though he stopped calling several months ago, I still feel like it's hard to move on. I was the one who asked him to leave, which he reminded me of several times, and basically said that I got what I asked for. But it's not that I ever wanted him to leave....I wanted the other woman (the bottle) to leave. The bottle won out. Does anyone out there ever have these kind of mixed feelings? And if so, what do you do when the sadness and regret hits you?