tanzanite

My daughter (can't remember the acronym - Addicted daughter - AD?) is in recovery and has slipped up once in the 60 days shes been in NA. But, she can't seem to stay away from the drug-providing boyfriend, and even though she's got the sickest lungs ever (asthma, bad, since she was a little kid), she's decided to take up smoking. She sucks on her inhaler, takes Singulair, and also has to occasionally take a nebulizer treatment. She is self destructive, compulsive and apparently has alot of addictive tendencies.

Here's the 2 worst parts. She lives with me so I have to watch her problems and drama. Actually, I don't just watch, I get wrapped up in it almost daily. And she has a 2 year old baby. My daughter and the baby live here with me. I take care of the baby for her while she goes to her almost nightly meetings.

I guess, even though I know she's on her path, whatever it's going to be - I know this in my head - I cannot seem to let it go and just let her follow her path. I see her and I worry about her, and I worry about the baby, and I can't just let it be.

I have been very good lately because I haven't been telling her how to be and what to do. I tell her to call her sponsor if she's troubled, and I encourage her to follow her path. I don't say a word about the smoking anymore, and I haven't said anything about the hateful boyfriend.

So I just don't say anything, but I stew in it. I'm miserable. I think it might be easier for me to let go if she didn't live with me but more importantly, if she didn't have a baby to take care of. I worry about the baby all the time. I worry that my daughter won't be able to take care of her, and then I worry that I won't be able to either if need be. I just worry about everything.

I try to read some 12 step literature, but it doesn't seem to do any good. I have read some of the information on this site, too, hoping it will give me some kind of relief from my constant worry.

Thanks for letting me spill my guts for a few minutes.