Boundaries for me (regarding my AH), because they make my life better:
If you are drinking, then I will not be around you. I will excuse myself, leave the room, the house, the building. I will not watch you drink or talk to you while you drink. I will not pretend that it is normal for you to drink.
If you want to discuss your consumption of alcohol - the problems that you are facing, your depression, your isolation, your need for me - then I will remind you that I am unable to help you. I will not talk about your "problem." AA is full of people who would love to help. I am not the reason you drink, and I am not the solution to your drinking.
If you lie to me, then I will not continue to pursue a romantic relationship with you. I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I want a partner who will be honest with me. I want trust in my relationship. If you are unable to provide that, I will not insistent that you give me something you are incapable of. I will know that I must find it elsewhere.
If you choose to live in active alcoholism, then I will choose to live elsewhere.
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Just so you know, these boundaries have not always been well-received. They do not keep AH from drinking, but, why should they? They're not for him - they're for me. They keep me sane and serene. They improve my life while I decide what my next step should be.
Good luck to you!
-TC