I tried it all before I gave up and had him move out. I did all the classic enabling behaviour as well and even after he left, I still blamed myself because I thought there might be one more thing I could have tried. I think in 16 years I tried them all and probably each one many, many times.
I talked, I reasoned, I begged, pleaded, cried, yelled, argued, made appointments for counselling, got him all the information for rehab so he could make a decision, bought him books on how to quit on his own, enlisted the help of his family, kicked him out, begged him back, moved out myself, came back, went to counselling for my own sanity, Alanon, read hundreds of self-help books, offered to go to AA with him, ignored him when he was drinking, engaged him when he was drinking (big mistake), refused sex when he'd been drinking (I couldn't stand the smell of him either)...... In other words, I tried everything.
Some people seem able to detach while lliving with the A but I could never master that. I would get triggered by the simplest things, like how his eyes seemed to change when he was drinking and had crossed over that imaginery line where his personality changed, or the way he reaked of alcohol, or how we'd be having a wonderful conversation one minute and then in the next he would call be some disgusting name and I would be shocked how he could change so quickly.
So I don't think there is any right or wrong way to deal with it or control it. Alanon and counselling may help but ultimately you have to decide if you can live with it or not.