I don't believe in "rules" in a relationship; they are for games and I'm through playing the alcoholic one.
The only decision I made during my marriage, and told xAH about, was no arguments when he had been drinking. If he tried to start up, I left the room. This was pre Al Anon, so I still had some of my brain left.
During this time, it never occurred to me he was an alcoholic - I didn't even know what one was.