Originally Posted by
Lotus2008 
and me trying to get him help and being the one trying to find out about treatment option would prob also be somewhat enabling because it is something he should be taking responsibilities for.
Just my opinion, but "somewhat enabling" is similar to being "kinda pregnant." You either is or you ain't. If he wants treatment, he'll get it. He owns his addiction. It's his business to decide whether or not he wants help.
Most people detach by moving out. I'm finishing college in May. I live in a town with a 20 percent unemployment rate. Obviously, I'm leaving to get on with my life. Detachment happened for me when I just moved my life back onto my side of the street.
I dragged AH in and out of detoxes, rehabs, hospitals, counseling, churches, bible studies, drove him to AA, picked him up from AA, bailed him out of jail, left him in jail, checked on his liquor supply, ignored him, cut him off without sex, gave him sex, yelled, preached, and probably engaged in every other codie behavior you can imagine. All of this is a form of enabling because I was INVOLVED in making HIS business MY business.
I worked on forgiving him. I worked on forgiving myself. I quit reacting to him. I quit expecting him to be a source of happiness for me. I allowed him the dignity to pursue drinking himself to death. It's sad and it's tragic. But he made his choice. His life. His choices. His consequences.