Originally Posted by
genrs123 
i want to be happy by myself, but i just never have been. i am unhappy with most aspects of my life, if not all....
i know its a cycle because me not being in a good mood doesnt exactly envite others in my life, but i cant h elp it.
You're taking steps to help yourself RIGHT NOW. As I type, you are actively working towards acceptance and self-love. With AlAnon and Sr and counseling and school and your band and your volunteer work.
That's a lot of "and's"!
I didn't get better right away.
There was a really frustrating period where I knew that recovery from co-dependency was possible, I saw people who had recovered, I knew what to do to improve my situation, and still I hurt. Even while taking the necessary steps. Especially then.
They say, "fake it 'till you make it."
It worked for me.
Give yourself some time, genrs123.
You sound a bit like an overachiever (takes one to know one
) - that may be working against you here.
Give yourself permission to be a bit unsteady for a while.
Expect that you aren't going to be attracting others with your gleaming wit and bright smile for a while.
All will be as it should.
These problems don't find their solution quickly.
-TC