(((Best)))
I know exactly what you mean. Sometimes when my H drinks less than usual and actually makes it to the bed without passing out on the couch I think, maybe this isn't so bad. After 15 years I know that it is only temporary and that after a couple days he'll be back to normal and that the "making up the drinking" days will not be pleasant.
I think that one thing we need to remember is that nothing we do - detached or not detached - will have an effect on whether he stops drinking or not. The detachment is for us - not for them.
I think that ultimately the detachment should allow us to be an unaffected as possible by the bad times and able to enjoy the good times.
My problem is that I have detached so well that I am living on another planet. I literally never care where is he or what is doing, whether he drank three cases or a six-pack, whether he is lying or telling the truth. I wish he would just stay in the garage drinking until he passes out and leave me alone. I know that's not the goal here and I wouldn't recommend that you get to that point. I just have a hard time not caring what he is doing when he's drunk and then becoming a sweet, loving wife when he's less drunk. I'm working on it though.
Peace - L