Hi Kathy,
It's a sad reality that few stay clean on the first try. When they are using and don't want help, all we (the parents) can think is 'if only they would go to treatment'. and then they do, they leave and use again, and... we're back to square one only sadder. I also "support" my AD's efforts when she wants treatment, but I no longer stop my entire life to get her there, even when she says she wants to go. She has left all 7 rehabs she entered, long before the programs were done - and I felt like an idiot after a while. But one thing she knows is that I love her and only want recovery from the disease of addiction for her. She really knows this. she doesn't even get upset anymore when I tell her 'no' about something or other or set a boundary (actually, its me who gets upset and agonizes).
pray, and live your life, and if you are starting to get pulled under by the fear-demon, come here and share.