Hmmm...he's the same age as I am.
Finger pointing doesn't solve anything. Is he trying to get sober? It's difficult to reason with alcohol. Remember the three C's: You didn't cause it. You can't control it. You can't cure it.
Alcohol is cunning, baffling, & powerful. Without help, it is too much for us. Are there any Al-anon meetings in your area?
Since I can't get into your husband's mind, I can't tell you exactly what he wants to hear. If he's trying to get sober, then there might be hope. Reason things out rationally, without trying to over analyze things, or rationalize them.
I know you must want desperately to say all the right things to fix it. You could end up saying all the right things and still have it fail miserably. Pray. Give it over to God.