I'm so sorry Lobo. I can hear the worry in your words.
Just a brief (HA!) share if I may?
My now ex-husband demanded that I have an abortion. There were lots of other problems (duh!) but my having that abortion was the end of our marriage. I do live with some unanswered questions, but have learned to forgive the womanchild that was me.
At 27 I found out I was pregnant, but was in no position to raise a child, I couldn't even raise me! I had my little girl in April 1997 and her parents were there when she was born. Giving them the chance to be a family is one of the high points in my life. I knew then that was the right answer, and have never wavered one iota. The look of absolute bliss when they came to give me a ride home from the hospital is a memory I will treasure for ever.
At 38 I turned up pregnant AGAIN! Drugs and birth control are a bad combination for whatever it's worth... It's hard to remember your pills when you can't figure out what day it is.
I told my OB the truth , that I was dependent on oxy's (they were prescribed so it was a lot easier to be truthful about.) and his advice (just my experience, I am NOT a Dr) was to maintain my current level of usage until the 2nd trimester and keep slowly tapering until the 3rd tri. At that point I was to stop tapering and just maintain my using. It was explained to me that trying to quit opiates was risky in the first trimester and that w/d in the 3rd could trigger labour.
mind you I was a high risk patient that went on to have complications, so she definitely needs to follow her Dr's advice. She must be completely honest about her methadone use as well.
My son will be 2 in March and he was born dependent on opiates. The hospital staff knew that I was taking oxy's and so were prepared. It took about a week for him to detoxed and sent home with me. You better believe I was horrified and ashamed at the misery I put that little boy through.
As detoxes go he had an easy time of it, but STILL! I was so ashamed of my self. His father does come to see him, but I had to take him to court to get child support; which he rarely pays by the way. He's 50 years old, can you believe?
My my little guy is the absolute joy of my life!! I do not regret my choosing to raise him. I was so afraid that I would make a craptacular mess of child rearing. I am turning out to be good at it. Not perfect, but damn good at it. I was so afraid that I wouldn't be able to keep the lights on and keep us fed. I always have though. He gives me the courage to face my demons, he's the reason I tried rehab, and AA. My health will not let me stay off of opiates for long. Thanks to my son, I do not abuse them. I am more "here" than ever before. One other thing, because opiates (this includes methadone) is passed through breast milk I was advised not to breast feed once Sam was completely weaned off opiates. Again, I am not a Dr and you should check with a Dr to find out for sure.
Hopefully this is some help to your daughter. I have been there and I remember how terrified I was. Perhaps she turn this over to her HP?
Best wishes to both of you.