Originally Posted by
deliverance 
He keeps saying to please give him time - that this is a process for him...Maybe I should ask him how much time.
Maybe you should tell HIM how much time he has. That's called setting boundaries, and it is how we all survive being near alcoholics without going out of our skulls.
That's why Al-Anon can be so helpful. That's where a lot of us have learned the skill.
You are not giving your kids a normal life. You have a person with female parts and a person with male parts, but that's as far as it goes. By setting no boundaries with your husband, you are dragging them down into poverty, exposing them to grave danger, exposing YOURSELF to danger, and modeling for your kids that it's okay to drink and drug and be irresponsible (if you're a man) and that you should put up with it all (if you're a woman.) Are those the lessons you want them to take to adulthood?
Step away from this and look at the big picture. Is this the life you want for them?